Ah rape. What a busy little gem of an appalling act you are. You have so many definitions! You incite so many opinions! Why all the hoopla? You’d think it would be simple to distinguish if a man or woman sexually advanced on another human being without said human being’s consent. Was it just a finger in the bum to an unassuming passerby? Was it a BDSM/SAW inspired violent orgy of unsuspecting men/women without any of them being conscious?
What is rape?
To me, rape is sexual advancement upon another being (human or otherwise) without the consent of the recipient of said acts. If my girlfriend takes a nap and I feel her up? That’s part of rape. Two high school students recently were indicted in Ohio for sandwiching a drunken female friend that was present at a party they all attended. After inserting fingers in various orifices, and placing their hands all over her body and partially undressing her, the law called rape. Is that rape? Yes. Were all parties involved under the influence of alcohol or other drugs? Yes. Were the accused once athletes with promising futures? Yes. Was the victim likely less than chaste, or morally ambiguous? Perhaps. Slutty? Maybe, yes. Does that matter AT ALL? NO.
Too often in society we point the finger and the legislation at the victim, ESPECIALLY when it is a female. “She shouldn’t drink so much”, “ she should wear longer skirts” are some solutions to avoid rape– except, they’re not. In societies where women are covered head to toe in veils and sheets, incidents of rape are no less common.
IT’S TIME WE STOP BLAMING WOMEN. I understand, we as a society want women to be responsible for how they are perceived. If a woman is “perceived” as unwholesome because she is wearing a tube top, that is freedom of opinion for those onlookers. That however, doesn’t give the onlooker the right to tie, beat, and rape the woman against her will, because she APPEARS that she may “like it rough” from time to time.
I think I know where the entire crux of this controversy stems from. MEN GENERALLY, WOULDN’T MIND BEING “RAPED”. That is, they would pretty much consent to sex at any opportunity. Many circumstances need to be considered of course, but for the most part, this rings true. Since we live in a male dominated society, the perception is that “men can’t control themselves”, and for that women are responsible.
I’d tend to agree that a vast majority of men have no sexual control. I don’t agree however that the blame falls on womankind. If my dog shits on my green carpet, it’s not my carpet’s fault it looks like grass- It’s the dog’s. As a society we must curb our behaviour and sensibilities away from “women hating” and lean toward men training. I want my women wholesome as much as the rest. I think women and men, EQUALLY share the responsibility of changing this perception.
Ladies, stop being okay with car hoeing, and show girling alone. By building a persona that signifies you objectify yourself, then you can’t expect people to respect you either. Just like a thief isn’t given the keys to the bank. That doesn’t justify rape OBVIOUSLY. But if my daughter was a only “suitcase girl” on “Deal or No Deal”, than she is just a prop, much like the suitcases themselves. If appreciation for her extends only to her physical qualities, then I’ve failed as a father. Especially if that’s all she values in herself.
Men. We all know it’s a fantasy of yours that the barista at the local Starbucks spikes your coffee and has her way with you on top of the espresso machine while you are incapacitated. But the truth is, this is simply not the same for the fairer sex. Women live in a society that they already have to overcome obstacles to even be considered financially, reputably, and respectfully on par with a men. They are objectified at every corner, upon every minute of their day. They awake in the morning to apply makeup and do their hair. To shave their legs and wax their lady parts. They wear form fitting clothing, and show skin. Why? Because they are objectified from birth. Men roll out of bed, throw on clothing and are out the door. But a woman needs to be strong, and look good. We need to start seeing women from other angles–Mothers, daughters, business owners, lawyers.
The solution to the rape argument rests not only in unsexualizing women, but in men understanding that women are not sexual objects. Both men and women can do their part to shift that focus: women by taking a stand against their own OVERsexualization. Realizing a sense of self worth, and that you are more than the sum of your booties, boobies, and bjs. And men, by looking at women as peers, and not as vessels that only hold suitcases and fuck. Women deserve as much, if not more respect than you do. They birth us. They nurture us. How would you feel if some high school football star raped your mother when she was a cheerleader, or experimenting with partying? Would that excuse their actions? Whether your mom was the class skank, or a conservative girl with a great posterior is irrelevant. Neither answer excuses the perverse delinquency of forcing yourself on the self of someone else just because your blood flow may be localizing in your crotch.
the problem however is too often sex is a tool; to achieve, to advance, to propagate. Men buy sex more than any other “product” out there. Axe body spray? CHA CHING. Budweiser Girls? WHAAAAAZUUUUP. It will take a combined effort; women need to stop selling sex, and men need to stop buying it.
And since that isn’t likely to ever occur , the rape problem may never disappear either. That’s an irrationally sad reality to face.
So let’s change it.
Only hook up with the people that want to hook up back.
Or start humping houseware.